Renee Benson BELIEVE

2010-10-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

2010-03-15T17:44:00.001-07:00

Cemetery

Renee’s niche is at Good Shepherd Cemetery in Huntington Beach. If you are interested in visiting, the cemetery is located on the corner of Beach Blvd & Talbert Avenue. The only entrance is off Talbert.Once entering the cemetery continue straight to the back left garden - Resurrection Gardens. It is the only garden with a bronze statue (she is not in the large mausoleum area). Her niche is located in the area surrounding this statue. She will have the sun shining on her throughout the day. When facing the statue, she is on the left outer side - top middle section. Please see attached pictures.

Renee’s niche cover will be completed in the near future.

The cemetery is opened from 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. daily - soon it will be opened until 6:00 p.m. for summer hours.

Thank you

2010-03-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Where do we start when we have hundreds of people to thank. It has been an amazing journey that we have shared with Renee, each in our own way. Each of you have been an important part of her life. In some way, you have touched her and helped her gain the strength and guidance she needed to go on through her struggles. She inspired us with her attitude on life - she treated having cancer liken to having a headache and always made us “believe” she would pull through. That had to have been a reflection of the gift of love and support she felt from her family and friends. We thank you for that.

Now we have memories - oh, so many memories! We are so very proud of her and miss her so very much.

The memorial was beautiful. We know Renee was there with us in spirit. Thank you to all that attended and especially to those that helped so graciously to make that day be such a beautiful tribute to her. Please know that your sympathy and support have been very much appreciated - more than any words can express.

We will be keeping Renee’s website going for another year so check back as often as you like.

Hugs and kisses,
Elda and Jennifer

Looking For Photographs From The Memorial...

2010-02-25T18:38:00.000-08:00

Sunday’s memorial service for Renee was a phenomenal turnout, so many people showed up to honor her. We can not thank you all enough for coming! We’ll be posting a new entry very shortly regarding her service so please check back soon for that.

In the meantime we are looking to collect as many photographs from the service as possible. If anyone has images from the memorial or the reception please email them to KrissyGimenez@Gmail.com - It would be extremely appreciated. (Once we collect some images we’ll be sure to post them on the website for everyone to view.)

Thank you!

A Week of Honoring Renee

2010-02-19T14:20:00.000-08:00

This week we have been blessed with so many wonderful benefits and gatherings in honor of Renee. Tuesday night we got together for another fund raiser at Round Table Pizza in Huntington Beach and sold some of Renee's new BELIEVE T-shirts. Last night we had a very successful night at HB Tattoo with the FC Foundation. We raised over $2500 towards the memorial service and gave half of that to benefit the other survivors that the FC Foundation has been so kind to help. We had a wonderful turn out of all ages for both airbrush tattoo provided by Tribal Ink and the real deal by the very generous crew at HB Tattoo. We will be in the OC Register in the next couple of days so be sure to check it out.

Our next big night is a very special one. We are honoring Renee's birthday on Saturday night at HB Brewing CO. on Main Street. We will be there toasting the beauty and courage she taught us all and we will also have the new BELIEVE t-shirts and FC shirts. They are $20 cash only please.

Sunday will be the memorial service at Crystal Cove State Park at the Pelican Point Picnic Area off Newport Coast Drive and PCH. Although parking is free, there are very limited spaces so we ask that you car pool as much as possible. We will be at the beach so please dress warm and remember there is a chance of rain so please bring an umbrella. Following the service we will have a celebration of life at Flight Bistro & Social Lounge at 8082 Adams Ave in Huntington Beach starting at 4pm. We will enjoy a video and slide show of Renee as well as appetizers.

I can't thank you all enough for the amount of support you have all given in this difficult time. We have all been so blessed to have someone like Renee in our lives and although things are different, we will always keep her in our hearts everyday. Thank you so much and we will look forward to seeing you at the upcoming events. It always feels better to have people that know and love Renee around. :)

Audrey

Join us TOMORROW @ the HB Tattoo Benefit

2010-02-17T21:32:00.000-08:00

Please come and Join us on Thursday, February 18th from 4pm to midnight to help Raise money

for Renee and the FC Cancer Foundation.

*** CASH ONLY ***

$50 - $75 for BELIEVE tattoos
$120 - $150 for Butterfly Believe tattoos

There will also be $10 Airbrush tattoos for those who aren't ready to get a tattoo just yet but still want to support. (Airbrush art will last about a week with proper care.)

100% of tattoo sales will be donated to the cause so be sure to tip your artist well, since they are donating their time.

Renee Benson Believe T-shirts will be available!

HB TATTOO

20387 Beach Boulevard

Huntington Beach, CA 92647

(714) 374-4948

Believe,

Krissy

Upcoming Events

2010-02-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for your support and for joining us in a celebration of Renee's life. I think we all agree that when we are surrounded by those who love Renee, that things seem a little easier. The turn out at Round Table Pizza was great and we sold out on t-shirts! We have more in the works as well as another benefit and a possible party on the 20th to celebrate Renee's birthday. We also have a benefit booked for HB Tattoo for Febuary 18th from 4 - midnight. Come in for your BELIEVE tattoo and all of the proceeds will go to Renee's family but don't forget to tip your artist.

Thank you again for all of the love you have given to Renee's family and to me. We so appreciate it. God bless.

Audrey

In Honor of Our Beautiful Friend

2010-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Family and Friends,
We would like to invite you to join us this Tuesday evening Feb. 9th at 7 pm at our family's restaurant, Round Table Pizza in Huntington Beach, for dinner, drinks and friendship in honor of Renee. 20% of all sales will go directly to Renee's family to assist with the financial burden of Renee's long fight. If you would like to bring a copy of your favorite picture of Renee, we would love to add it to the collection of memories of our beloved friend. We hope to see you there as we continue to support and believe in our beautiful friend, Renee.

Much love,
The Quatman Family

Our Beautiful Angel Watches Over Us

2010-02-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

This morning at 3:45 am, Renee passed very peacefully in her sleep. She was surrounded by people that love her and we told her how much we loved her every second. She was very peaceful and in no pain and as a dear friend of ours said, she beat this stupid cancer. It lays on this earth and she is free from it high above us, watching over us.
After we all gave her our love we all sat together in the waiting room and watched the sun rise over the mountains. We then pushed her IV pole around for our last lap with her and nurses that knew and love Renee joined us along the way.
It is so difficult not to be angry when we feel so shorted by the loss of our friend, daughter, sister and love but remember that she is at peace now and will never suffer again. She is so beautiful and has touched us all so deeply and there will never be a day that she isn't in our hearts and minds. All of Nae Nae's kids will continue to grow up knowing who she was and what they meant to her. Every time a special song comes on or the scent of Jans or Thai food will make us remember. Every silly "raccoon" moment that we have will make us smile at the thought of what she gave to us. She gave us strength, courage, the true meaning of friendship, loyalty, passion, fight, stubbornness, love and she truly made us understand how short life is.
Thank you,
Audrey

2.7.10

2010-02-07T11:14:00.000-08:00

Last night all of us surrounded her talking about our memories with Renee. From sneaking out to parties to vacations and special dinners. We all remembered beautiful memories with Renee and I know she loved every one of them. She has not been alone for even a second and we will continue to stand by her side as she fights on. She is so strong and so brave and most of all, so beautiful. We will continue to update as the day progresses but know that her strength comes from all of your love.
BELIEVE,
Audrey

2.6.10 5:16pm

2010-02-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

Renee is now resting comfortably with the ventilator removed. She has her loved ones surrounding her, soft music playing, the smell of oranges from oils used on a scalp massage and the many pictures of her beautiful memories spent with all of you. She is very comfortable and completely at peace.

Please continue to pray for her.

Believe

Audrey

2.6.20 1:30pm

2010-02-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

We are still waiting for our room where we will be removing the ventilator so we have not moved forward with anything for Renee. We have had many visitors today and we ask that those who have had a chance to visit, please gives others that chance as well. We also ask that if you have had the opportunity to visit, that you kindly allow space for the other families by meeting in the downstairs lobbies. We are happy to keep updating you as the day progresses but we again very much appreciate all of your patience. Thank you again and God bless!
BELIEVE,
Audrey

2.6.10

2010-02-06T06:59:00.001-08:00

Good Morning...

Again, we thank you for your patience in trying to have some time with Renee. She has touched the lives of many and we are doing our best to be sure that everyone has a moment with her.

We kindly ask that when you visit, please take a few minutes to laugh with Renee, tell her you love her, share a funny story, or just sit in silence with her. There are quite a few people that would like to have a moment like this today...and we want to give everyone an opportunity to have that moment.

Please no visitors from 11 to 12:30 today. (Saturday)

In an effort to help with crowd control and with all due respect to the other families that are coping with illness in their own families, we ask that you leave the ICU floor once you have had that priceless moment with our beautiful girl.

BELIEVE,

Audrey, Sabrina & Abby

2.5.10

2010-02-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

Renee looks so beautiful today (as always). We had a day of beauty yesterday. I shaved her head, gave her a pedicure and we even have her in a BELIEVE shirt.

We are having another benefit for Renee at Round Table Pizza in Huntington Beach (Beach/Adams) at 7pm on Tuesday (2/9). We will have BELIEVE t-shirts and 10% of the proceeds will go to Renee.

On the lighter side...

We have met with Renee's physicians over the past week and we are coming to a point in her fight that her body is very weak. As you are all aware, she has been in ICU for three weeks now and while we have had good days, we have also had a few not-so-good days. Renee has lost much of her muscle strength and the side effects from this happening are wearing on her daily.
There are a few risks that are starting to take over and while we know Renee wants to fight, fight, fight...we also know that we want her to be comfortable. Her tenacity and strength is striking, but not surprising to those that know and love her. We are so proud of her endless courage to "kick cancers ass" (as Nae would say).

We are still working with the doctors and nurses to make decisions for the near future. We plan to move Renee to her "psuedo home", where she has been cared for and loved by many.

We appreciate your patience with trying to visit Renee. We will do our best to get everyone in. Thank you for continuing to BELIEVE in our angel.

Audrey, Sabrina & Abby

2.4.10

2010-02-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

I would first like to say thank you again for all of the wonderful messages you have sent. They have meant so much to me and to Renee's loved ones. I also appreciate your patience. I know it is very difficult waiting to hear what is going on and we would like to do another pizza night to benefit Renee and to bring everyone up to date on how she is doing. We should have a date booked for sure by today so check back for details. In the meantime, we would like to make sure that everyone has an opportunity to see Renee. If you would like to visit, please call or text one of us so we can make sure we don't have too many at a time.
Audrey - 714.791.8922
Sabrina - 714.624.9298
Abby - 949.554.4040
Jame - 562.260.2602
We are trying to keep it to one person at a time and we ask that we stay calm and quiet while we are in the room. Our goal is to keep her as comfortable as possible so we want her heart rate to stay close to 110. If you notice it start to rise, she has too much stimulation. We also ask that we stay positive in the room. I know it is difficult not to cry but Renee needs all positive energy around her so we ask that you step out. I know this is difficult and it seems like a lot of rules but this is for Renee and what is requested by her doctors to keep her comfortable.
Keep praying for Renee and her loved ones and thank you.
BELIEVE
Audrey

2.3.10

2010-02-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

Last night Renee slept well and has been very calm. We have had some trouble with anxiety and we are working it out with medication and talking to her about everything which helps to keep her calm. We will be meeting with the doctors tonight to discuss how Renee is doing and what our next step will be.
We are working on putting the attachment on her trach so she can speak. We are trying to keep her heart rate at a more safe rate which is 110 but she starts to get really agitated when there is too much going on around her.
Please keep up with the letters and texts because she enjoys us reading them to her.
Thanks!!
Audrey

2.1.10

2010-02-01T12:35:00.000-08:00

Today started off a little rough but it looks like our prayers are continuing to keep her strong. We thought that she may have had a seizure this morning because her arm and head were shaking a little but her neurologist believes that she is fine and so we are back to lowering her sedation drugs. We are going to continue with some more breathing exercises but she has been doing so great that they are discussing putting a valve on her trach that will allow the air to pass through her vocal cords which will allow her to talk. Keep praying for our girl and keep believing!!
<3 Audrey

1.31.10

2010-01-31T17:56:00.000-08:00

Today was a day of rest, as difficult as that is for our girl. She is awake a lot during the day and she was very excited to be doing as well as she is doing. Her heart rate was a little higher than we like but the doctors and nurses are doing their best to keep that under control.
The doctors are already discussing doing a procedure to allow her to speak with the tracheostomy. She has been performing for all of us by moving her arms and legs and showing that she is ready to work on her physical therapy and get the heck out of that hospital. She shocks us with her strength everyday!

BELIEVE!

BBEELLIIEEVVEE!!

BBBEEELLLIIIEEEVVVEEE!!!

BBBBEEEELLLLIIIIEEEEVVVVEEEE!!!!

BBBBBEEEEELLLLLIIIIIEEEEEVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!

BBBBEEEELLLLIIIIEEEEVVVVEEEE!!!!

BBBEEELLLIIIEEEVVVEEE!!!

BBEELLIIEEVVEE!!

BELIEVE!

Another Mission Accomplished Today

2010-01-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

Today has already been a busy day for Renee...this morning she had a feeding tube inserted through her stomach. The procedure went smoothly and she is back in her room resting comfortably. The doctors are slowly lowering the sedation medication, Versed, and her pain medication. Renee is still heavily sedated, but wakes every once in a while to give us a smile and look at the many photos we are decorating her room with.

Right now the focus is on healing from the two recent procedures (tracheostomy and the feeding tube). She is doing great and continues to show us the amazing strength she has.

Keep emailing those photos!

Believe,

Sabrina
sgriffith224@gmail.com - Email me photos to put in her room

1.28.10

2010-01-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

Thank you all so much for joining us in celebrating Renee's amazing strength! We raised a nice chunk of money for her and she received some very beautiful letters and pictures that I know she will enjoy.
Today we are hoping for her tracheostomy to be done. The nurse will be calling me with a time as soon as something opens up in the O.R. I am looking forward to her waking up and enjoying all of your wonderful gifts.
We will continue to keep you updated as the good news rolls in. Thank you again for all of your support and please keep BELIEVING and PRAYING!!
God Bless!
Audrey

Let's Get Together

2010-01-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

Please join us tonight, Wednesday, at Round Table Pizza in Huntington Beach (Newland Center) @ 7pm.

We thought it may be a nice way to get together and be with others that love, pray, and BELIEVE in our sweet Nae Nae.

Come by and ask questions, share your stories...<3

Audrey, Abby, and I would love to bring Renee your favorite pictures, cards, letters, poems, artwork...whatever you want to create and show Renee that we BELIEVE in her and are so proud of her courage and strength. (please no flowers)

Again, we are asking for no visitors at this time. Renee is doing well and continues to build her strength every day. Keep believing in our super star!

See you tonight,
Sabrina
714.624.9298

1.25.10

2010-01-25T12:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took ten huge steps forward but last night we took two steps back. I would say that is still pretty great. The doctors decided it would be best to put Renee back on the breathing tube. She was just not getting enough oxygen. They believe her vocal cords are swollen from the tube which is blocking her ability to get oxygen and they felt that she couldn't go much longer with it that way. They will treat her with steroids to take down the swelling and try again in a few days. They were also concerned because she had such a high heart rate and she gets herself so excited when she tries to speak and nothing comes out. Her muscles are still weak so she is not at the point where she could write what she wants so we are stuck with lip reading and that gets frustrating.
We have stopped all visitors for now and even Elda, Jen and I will just sit in the room in silence so she can stay calm and have as little stimulation as possible. I wish this was not the case because I know if someone told me that I couldn't see my friend, it would drive me crazy.
I will try to answer any questions you have and keep you updated but please remember to focus on all of the positive things we have achieved in the past twenty-four hours. Renee did wake up and answered all of our questions including knowing who she is. She even was a smart ass and joked with us so we know we have Renee back and there will be no brain damage. This is a huge achievement and although it is frustrating to see her uncomfortable, we know when they try again that we will be that much closer to having our Renee back! I BELIEVE that all of the thousands of prayers really do make a difference and every day she is getting better and better. Please pray for her fast recovery and that she will have faith in her heart and most of all that God will remove her fear. Thank you again for all of your support!
Audrey

1.24.10

2010-01-24T22:00:00.001-08:00

Hi,

Well, today has been one of excitement and amazement! Renee has been doing great. This afternoon she passed all of the physicians tests to have her breathing tube removed. YAY! She was able to squeeze with both hands, lift her head, and most important cough. Who ever thought the most the simplest tasks would be so thrilling to her and all of us standing by her side?!?

The doctor removed the tube and Renee was ready to tell everyone in the room what to do and remind us of her unique sense of humor. Being that she has had the tube in her throat for over a week, her vocal chords are very swollen and weak. She speaks barely a whisper, but this will improve as days go on and she relaxes.

That being said...we had to unfortunately put the tube back in tonight. Renee was struggling and getting quite frustrated that she could not speak or be heard. The doctors felt that she wasn't quite strong enough to be breathing on her own and the decision was made to replace the breathing tube until she is able to get a promising amount of oxygen into her lungs on her own.

The most import thing for Renee right now is to REST. She is doing absolutely fabulous and is showing all signs of great improvement. We are reminding everyone that there are NO VISITORS at this time. Renee is awake and alert, but we need her to relax and continue to build her strength.

Please continue to text, email, blog, or Facebook Renee. Audrey and I have been reading each comment to her and she definitely is enjoying the enormous amounts of love everyone is showering her with.

With love,

Sabrina

Thank you for being patient! 1.23.10

2010-01-23T14:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a very exciting day! The doctors slowly took Renee off the new sedation medication (Versed) that she was on. She did very well coming out of it all evening but was very agitated by the breathing tube and not being able to swallow or cough on her own. Although she has been off of Versed since yesterday, she will still have it in her system for some time. They now have her on pain medication and another medication that won't affect the respirator.
Although she is still on the respirator, she is breathing very well on her own and they will hopefully remove it soon.
She has been a little agitated and in some pain and we are trying to keep her heart rate and blood pressure down so we are trying to be calm and positive as much as possible.
Today she had a 101 fever and her white blood count (immune system) is getting better but it is still important to keep all sick people away!
Jen Peirson has been working on getting everyone together to just be a group all fighting for Renee. For more information, leave your email address.
Thanks!!
Audrey

Yeah for Nae!!

2010-01-21T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today was a really great day! I truly believe all of our powerful prayers have been heard because they are being answered!
We made some changes with her medication that is keeping her sedated and it seems to be working great. She had no fever all day, her blood pressure and heart rate stayed in a safe range and we started to lower her sedation medicine slowly and so far we have had no seizures!! She is still Neutropenic(her immune system is very low so she can't fight off germs) so we are being very cautious and asking if there is even a tickle in your throat, that you send your love through text messages. She started to move her eyes a little bit and blink which is great and we are excited to see what changes will happen tonight!
PLEASE keep sending in text messages because I do read them to her everyday and I know your love is helping her fight to stay strong.
Thank you again for all your support!
God bless!!
Audrey

No Germs Please

2010-01-20T16:36:00.001-08:00

Hi,

Today has been a good day. Renee is neutropenic and we are reminding visitiors that if they have any signs of being sick to please stay home until you're healthy or her counts come back up.

Friendly reminder...please family only for visiting.

Let's all continue to pray, hope, and believe in our Nae Nae!

With love,
Sabrina

1.19.10

2010-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

Today was another good day of rest. We talked to the doctors and they have decided to keep her in this state till this weekend to give her body some time to recover. We want her counts to have a chance to go back up before we take her out of sedation. We have been trying to find a balance with fevers, blood pressure and heart rate and we ended the day doing pretty well.
As Sabrina had mentioned, Renee's nurses feel that she may be over stimulated so we have had to cut back again on visitors. Thank you again for all of your powerful messages and prayers.
BELIEVE!! and PRAY!!
God Bless,
Audrey

Continued Strength...

2010-01-19T16:01:00.000-08:00

Hi,

Renee's family has requested that we keep visitors to family only at this time. The enormous amounts of love and support everyone has been showing and sharing with Renee and her family is priceless...at this time though it is important for our girl to get the rest she needs to keep her strength up.

Please continue to blog, email, text, pray, and BELIEVE in our super star. :-)

With love,
Sabrina

1.18.10

2010-01-18T21:46:00.000-08:00

Today we moved one step closer to getting Renee back. We started taking her off the meds around noon and the doctors decided to put her back under after seeing some seizure activity at about two. They made some more changes with her anti-seizure medication and decided to lower the dose of the medication that is keeping her sedated. When I said goodnight, she was blinking and had both eyes partially open and looking at me. She was moving her mouth slightly and started to tear up. These are all wonderful signs that we are heading in the right direction. Although these last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster ride, she still blows our minds with her strength and determination.
Thank you for continuing to write to her and for all of her text messages. I think that has been the best part of the day. Every time we read them to her, her heart rate comes back down and she starts to relax.
xoxo, Audrey

1.17.10

2010-01-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

Today was an exciting day. Renee finished her chemo which is really great and the doctors gave the okay to bring her out of sedation. She started off doing really well. She looked at us with one eye and had some head and mouth movement. The doctors believe that she started to have some seizures so they put her back under sedation and plan to try again. They have made some adjustments on her medication including a stronger seizure medicine and feel very positive about all of the movements she did today. They feel good about trying again tomorrow and I do too.
I am so happy to say I saw a glimpse of Renee and she even teared up when she looked at us. I know that she hears all of us and is leaning on us for strength. I look forward to tomorrows blog because I really BELIEVE that it will be the news we have all been waiting for.
God bless!
Audrey

Update 1.16.10

2010-01-16T18:33:00.000-08:00

I am happy to report that there is not too much to report. Renee has been pretty stable all day other than a slight fever that they are keeping a close watch on and a little faster heart rate than usual. They are doing an ultrasound now on all of her extremities to check for clots from laying down so long but other than that she has stayed pretty strong. She has one more day left of the chemo that has caused the most problems and we believe she should be feeling better in the next couple of days.

We are continuing with the close family only right now. She has had many family members flying in to visit and we want to make sure she has time to enjoy them.

I can't thank you enough for all of your kind words and support. Renee is so loved and I am getting a ripple of what she has and feel blessed.

Thank you again and keep praying because it is definitely working!!

Audrey

Update 1.15.10 part 2

2010-01-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

This evening we met with Renee's doctors to discuss our plan. Renee has still not been responsive and they are concerned with possible seizure activity so they have sedated her for the next couple of days. This means she will be able to sleep through the toughest part of her chemo and we hope she will wake up with out feeling any pain. Because she is sedated, she is on a breathing machine and a feeding tube but we all feel very positive about this plan. She has been placed in a more secure room for closer monitoring so she will have the best possible care but we ask that visitors are limited to close family only. If you would like to see her you will need to call Elda, Jen or myself before hand. Please understand that we would love for everyone to be able to visit but we need to keep things calm for Renee to recover quickly. Thank you so much! God Bless,
Audrey

Update 1.15.10

2010-01-15T15:21:00.000-08:00

We started off a little rough this morning but Renee is so amazing! She is still not responding verbally and right now she has her eyes closed but when we are talking to her (especially when we are joking with her) we will get a smirk from her or a huff and puff.

She has had SO many tests done today and she is very tired. We have again asked for no visitors at this time but I know her family appreciates all of the support you have all given. I would be happy to read any texts you send to her and I know that the support she gets from all of her friends is what gets her through her toughest times.

BELIEVE!!

Update 1-14-10

2010-01-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

Today Renee was very alert and aware of everyone. She was awake the majority of the day and looked directly into our eyes as we would talk to her and although she wasn't responding verbally, she did in her own little Renee way. I was feeding her an avocado and she actually spit it on me! She still has her smart ass sense of humor even though she is not able to communicate.
The doctors believe that her not responding is from the chemo and is only temporary. In the next few days, she will have finished with this particular chemo that is causing this side effect and we believe she will be back to her chatty self. I still feel very positive about everything. She is handling it with so much strength!
I know there have been blogs and rumors of other outcomes and I can't express more that it is not true. Are girl is doing great! Unfortunately, I do not have the code did get her voice mails or I would play them for her. If you would like to send texts, I can read them to her. Thank you again!
Audrey

Update 1-13-10

2010-01-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

Last night Renee received some difficult news from her doctors. They told her that they have tried what they can to kill the cancer and it is now time to work on giving Renee some quality of life. They started the chemo that she did in March (the one that shrunk the tumor drastically) today and they are hopeful that it will shrink the tumor in her lung as well as the one on her spine. They will start radiation on Monday. For now, surgery is not an option.

After draining her lung since yesterday she sounds SO much better. She is breathing a lot better but is still in a tremendous amount of pain. They have put her on a lot of pain medication causing her to be very loopy and she is sleeping a lot. They are saying that the stent is working and so beating the pneumonia is just a matter of time.

I talked to Renee this morning and and asked her if there was anything else important that she wanted me to put in her blog and she said that right now she is living day by day. She had no idea that she was going to wake up yesterday and run all the tests they did and she had no idea that she was going to have her lung drained and tomorrow will bring all new things as well. Some will be good and some will be bad but the important thing is to stay positive. I BELIEVE that she will fight through this as she always has. The drugs she is on makes things look scary and it is very difficult to see her like that but that is just the drugs. Renee is a fighter and a good one at that. She has beat her stupid cancer many times and will do it again with all of our support. I know it is difficult not being able to go visit but the doctors are limiting her visitors to family. Renee still gets her texts and voice mails and I know that means so much to her. If she doesn't respond right away you can always check the blog for updates. Thank you so much for continuing to BELIEVE in Renee and having faith in her. Please pray for to continue to fight like we all know she can. God bless.
Audrey

Update 1-12-10

2010-01-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

A lot has been going on in the last twenty-four hours. Renee went in last night for a CT scan, EKG, echocardiogram and an X-ray to check on her heart. They were concerned with her increased heart rate but she seems to be doing okay. We should know the results soon.

They are draining the fluid from her lung now because the fluid is trapped in there and that is making it impossible to fight off pneumonia. A lot of fluid is coming out so that should make her feel SO much better.

They want to let her rest today before deciding on if they are going to do another surgery tomorrow to repair or replace the stent. They are talking about doing radiation today but that has yet to be confirmed. It is a new radiation treatment that she has not done yet and it is a much greater strength. They really can't do anything till they get the fluid out of her lung so she can get rid of the pneumonia.

We will hopefully know later today if they are doing surgery to repair the stent tomorrow. I will post as soon as I have an update.

She is still coing out of being sedated so she is not ready for visitors but she appreciates texts and voice mails. Thank you again for all of your continued support. BELIEVE

Update 1/11/10

2010-01-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

Renee is getting some sleep now before having a bronchosopy which is a procedure which allows her doctors to look at her airway through a thin viewing instrument called a bronchoscope. They are doing this to find out why the stent is not working. She has been in a lot of pain which means she is on pain medication. She is very loopy and tired so she is not taking visitors or calls. She still gets text messages and voice mails and very much appreciates them! I ask that you pray for her today (and everyday) and for her doctors. I am sure a lot of you have received this prayer from me already but for those who have not, here it is:

Dear Lord,

You know my friend so much better than I do. You know her sickness and the burden she carries. You also know her heart. Lord, I ask you to be with my friend now, working in her life. Let your will be done in my friend's life. If there is a sin that needs to be confessed and forgiven, Lord, please help her to see her need to confess. Lord, I pray for my friend because your Word says I should pray for her healing. I BELIEVE you hear this earnest prayer from my heart and that it is powerful because of your promise. I have faith in you to heal my friend, but also trust in the plan that you have for her life. Lord, I don't always understand your ways, and why my friend has to suffer, but I trust you. I ask that you look with mercy and grace toward my friend. Nourish her spirit and soul in this time of suffering and comfort her with your presence. Let my friend know that you are there with her through this difficulty. And may you be glorified in her name and also in mine.

Amen

I will post another blog later today when I know more on how things went. Thank you!

Audrey

Stent is in...ready to work!

2010-01-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

Renee's surgery was successful this morning and she did great!!! Dr. Maurice was able to place the stent into her lung to help bring in oxygen and hopefully allow the pneumonia to release from her left lung. Unfortunately, the tumor has been compressing her left lung extensively...so the procedure was critical. Dr. Maurice said that Renee did not bleed very much during the surgery, which we were very concerned about because her platelet counts are very low.

With all of the prayers, positive thoughts, and high energy Renee has once again blessed us all with her courage. She will be watched carefully over the next 24 to 48 hours to monitor her lung, breathing, and reaction to the stent. Renee is very anxious to get back to the 8th floor with her "peeps"!

Please continue to hope, pray, and BELIEVE!

With love,

Sabrina

Update - January 3rd

2010-01-03T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today Renee is down to very little speaking ability. Her tongue is swollen with soars making it near impossible to talk. It has also been too difficult to eat so they are discussing doing a feeding tube till she is feeling better but it is too dangerous to do now because her counts are still to low. The pneumonia is not getting better because the tumor is so big that it is not allowing anything to get out. They are planning a stint in the next couple of days which will help put oxygen back in her lung and hopefully move her towards fighting the pneumonia. This new surgeon has wonderful stats which gives us a lot of hope.

As I said before, it is difficult for her to talk so she is very appreciative of texts. Her counts are still low so visitors need to stop by the nurses station or you should call first. Please pray for her fast recovery and know that this is Renee. She has beat the crap out of cancer for almost nine years and she will do it again! Keep believing and praying for her!

With all my heart,

Audrey

Update - January 2nd

2010-01-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

I saw my scan today and the tumor has taken over my whole left lung along with the pneumonia. It is now approximately 10 x 12cm. so I am not getting any oxygen in that lung at all.

Last night a new doctor came in and went over all of my choices. He is a surgeon and wants to put in a stint (basically a straw-like device that will allow me to get some oxygen in my lung) in to help be breath while I fight the pneumonia and then remove my left lung. After speaking with all of the rest of my doctors, we have decided to continue with my anti-biotic to fight the pneumonia and go with the plan from my new doctor.

Also, my good friend John Fowler went into ICU. I am worried about him and wishing he was feeling better. Keep believing!!

Renee

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night was pretty bad. I couldn't breath so I wasn't able to sleep and I had pressure in my chest causing me to wheeze. Thursday morning I went to Hoag to get a shot but they sent me straight to ER because of how dehydrated I was and my chest pain was worse. I spent the day in the ER and we found out that I have pneumonia and I am Neutropinic (which means my counts have dropped to a dangerous low). They did scans and found that the tumor looked the same and decided to treat me as if I have Pneumonia. They are treating me with heavy antibiotics because of how low my white blood count is. My body is unable to fight it on it's own. I have been checked in to the hospital to monitor me since I have no immunity. They are now doubling my booster shots which are SUPER painful and I am also taking electrolytes along with my anti-biotic. With the pain in my mouth and throat, they have put on a liquid diet and I am having some serious "tummy problems"!! I won't go into detail with that. I am also vomiting which really sucks! I am getting two units of blood because my red count dropped so much. I have not been sleeping so I need a lot of rest and though I appreciate visitors, I would appreciate it if you call before coming. I am going to attempt to eat some yogurt so wish me luck! Thank God for Immodium! BELIEVE!!

home

2009-12-29T19:34:00.001-08:00

so nice to be home. Starting tomorrow i will be starting to go into the day hospital to get my white blood shots and blood taken for the next 5 days. It is nice to actually sleep in my bed and recover well. I am going to stay on a the pain patch for a bit to help the pain. It so far has done alot so i may ask the boss ( Dr. Mahdavi) if i can go down on mg. this week i will be getting watched and then soon i will find out when the next chemo is. Sorry for the small updates! Hope you are all enjoying your holidays! Can not believe it is New years on Friday! WOW!!! Believe! Thanks again for your support!

sunday

2009-12-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas! I am still here at Hotel Hoag getting ready to do more chemo tomorrow. I have one more session tomorrow then i will be able to go home for out patient check ups. Check ups on blood and chemo/tumor progress. Then i will have 2 weeks off to be home and recover. Then i will start another round of the chemo. I am feeling much better the pain has been managed well. Though i am finally getting some sleep! just wanted to give a quick hello and update that i am still beating this and believing all this will work out! patience is a virtue.. Believe! Hope you all have a wonderful New Years also!! update soon!!

update

2009-12-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

A little quick update for you all. So far i have finished my chemo on Tuesday. I have been blessed to have Jame as my nurse the first couple nights and also little Daisy Renee Quatman was born Tuesday morning at 515 am. I was very lucky that i got a note to let me off the floor to go meet her and spend time with them all.she is so beautiful it made my life brighter!Still shocked that her middle name is Renee! That is so special! So right now i am feeling better with pain control and the breathing is getting a little easier with all the treatments i am getting. My face is nice and puffy red. I actually slept for 3 1/2 hours straight last night! ahh it felt great to be able to do that. So later on today i will find out how my blood levels are doing. We saw yesterday that my red count is a little low so i may need to get a shot to help or i rather get a blood transfusion! I just love how wonderful those transfusions make me feel! Jame let me borrow her computer cause now here at Hoag they are receiving wireless Internet on the floors now!! Thanks Jame and Hoag! Now i am finally able to write you all myself. You must be able to tell when others write for me cause i never make sense.. haha! I will update when i find out when i can come home. i hope you all are enjoying a wonderful Christmas eve with your family! thanks all for the love and support!

Home Sweet Hoag

2009-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'm back at lovely Hoag for some more chemo!!!

This morning I went to Dr. Mahdavi's to review my scans that were taken last week and he felt that we needed to change the regimen for my chemo. It appears that the lung tumor has grown and has not been responding to the chemo we tried a couple of weeks ago. We only used the chemo one time, but Mahdavi feels strongly it is not reacting to the chemo.

So...we are going to try another regimen of chemo, but I am worried because it is the same chemo I did in 2006 for my right lung tumor and it did not work then. I am going to talk to him more about this later today (hopefully), once I get settled into my room.

The scan also showed that I have a paralyzed vocal chord. This explains why my voice is very weak and it's hard to breathe. I am also in a lot pain. They are going to do more tests on my vocal chords to see if there is anything they can do to prevent further damage and hopefully reverse what has already occurred. I'm hoping now that I am back at Hoag, I will be able to get better pain medication and they will keep me more comfortable. They are also going to give me breathing treatments to help me breathe easier.

So in a nut shell...I'm back at Hoag for new chemo, pain management, breathing treatments, and tests on my paralyzed vocal chord. Yipee!

Please text or email me if you are wanting to come by and see me at Hoag. I'm very weak and I need to get some rest while here.

Hopefully it's a quick visit and I will be home for Christmas. :-)

Y.O.L.O

Short

2009-12-14T19:14:00.000-08:00

Short and sweet... I have been in bed all weekend from major back pain. My MRI came out fabulous and i don't need another recheck till 4 months! My blood levels seem to be stable. I will start the next bag the Monday after Christmas. Then with the Temador, the pill chemo, i will start a week after that. I am hoping i do not get as sick as i was this time! I do have a PET scan i am taking this week so i will let you all know what the results are when i get them. Sorry if this is short, it really hurts to type cause i am using the muscle that is in pain! Ahhhh! It will get better! Tomorrow is an exciting day because me and 7 other girlfriends get to go to Ellen 12 days of Christmas show!! So excited to see what we are getting!! Thanks for all your patience! BELIEVE

sick sick sick

2009-12-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

Wow did things change!! Sunday night is where it all hit me at once! i have not been this sick in years! i was constantly vomiting and tummy aches! Monday i had to cancel the MRI cause i was still sick and could not get out of bed. All day Monday was still the same. i could not eat because i would just throw it up ect... I could not get out of bed wither. This carried on till all day Tuesday! I finally tried every thing i could to help and nothing was helping so i called the doctors. The prescribed me nausea pills. Mom picked those up for me after work and so far it has stopped me from my nausea and vomiting!! i feel about 40% better today! Everyday and ever hour seems to change. Sometimes when you feel so bad it feels like it will never get better, but it will! I am trying to eat something this morning hoping it will give me strength and energy. Rescheduled MRI for Friday so i am hoping to feel well and making that appointment. i will update you all with that MRI and doctor appointment when i can. Thanks for your support! Believe

It all comes back..

2009-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Got admitted into Hoag around 4 pm on Friday. Started to prep me up with a bunch of different pills and shots. They gave me my temador to start off ,which is my pill formed chemo. Then around 12 a.m is when we started the new chemo, irinotecan, which ran for 1 1/2 hours. I could not sleep cause i was so anxious on seeing how this chemo will affect me. Around 6 am on sat morning is when i started getting sick. I was so weak because i was vomiting for hours. I was not feeling well at all and it all came back to me. It has been years since i have got sick like that with the treatment. I did stop getting sick in the afternoon which was great. Finally ate something easy to digest and then i was able to rest. This morning Dr. Mahdavi let me go home cause if i stayed any longer my insurance would not pay for it. Both of these treatments are out patient and i was put in just to monitor my first session. Now tomorrow i need to work around my insurance companies to see if they will help me with the pill formed chemo. it is crazy how expensive they are!! I have 2 more days to take it and they will still charge me 945.00! Wow. It will all work out! Tomorrow i also get Brain MRI to check up on the 5 week ago craniotomy!! Time goes by so fast. Thank you all again for your support! Believe

chemo

2009-12-03T10:10:00.001-08:00

So this is a confusing update for you all. All week i have been dealing with doctors,doctors offices,and medical insurance. For some reason it was hard for the doctors to communicate and get things rolling, it was hard to have the office staff do a simple chore, and insurance company just wont pay for anything nor call me back. So it has been a delightful week. It really did not help out the horrible pain i am still having. My cough is still loud and for some reason i am loosing my voice every morning. I think the stress and anxiety from all this has made the pain worse. So we came up with this for my chemo; to take temador (pills) for 5 days straight every 28 days and then an infused chemo once a week which will be outpatient. Tomorrow i am being admitted into Hoag to try out this new chemo. Then after that if everything seems to be going well with the chemo it will be outpatient. Temador are pills that i have already taken before, though for 5 pills it is going to cost me $2700.00 because my insurance doesn't cover it! Nice! So that is what i have been dealing with all week. i am trying to be positive and relax but its too stressful. I did go to Ellen Degeneres show on Tuesday and our gift was to come back to her show during her 12 days of xmas give aways!!! I am sure looking forward to that even if i need a wheel chair or not!! I will let you know how this new chemo goes. Thanks for your patience. Thanks for your support! Believe

short update

2009-11-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving y'all! Heard from the doctor today and there was a fungal infection. So Monday i will have to see Dr. Fee,my infection disease doctor, to get the right antibiotics to help this infection. Also on Monday i see Dr. Mahdavi and Dr. Sharma to get checked on and figure out when i can start chemo. I will update when i do see them. I hope you all have a wonderful day with family and friends! I am thankful for all your love and support!!! Believe

Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

I finished my broncoscopy Monday. It was not too bad. They put me out and the next thing i know i was back on the floor recovering. My chest was hurting so bad in the morning cause i was not able to drink or eat my halls cough drops! The doctor did give me pain killers when i left to see if they would help me at home. So far it has not helped and i am still waking up at night in pain. Ahhh what to do! i just need to start chemo to kill this stupid cancer so the pain and coughing will go away! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and my doctor wants me to call him to give me results of the procedure. Wow what a day to be thankful of great news!! I believe with any news is great news cause i am still fighting and have wonderful family and friends who give me amazing support! Im thankful for that! Thank you all!!! I do Believe!!!! Update you as soon as i hear more news. Next doctors appointments are Monday.

Tomorrow

2009-11-22T21:39:00.000-08:00

I will be getting the broncoscopy in the afternoon. Hopefully it will still be an outpatient procedure. This weekend i went back to palm springs to get a relaxing get away. Though this weekend i have never been in so much pain ever in my life. My lungs,ribs and muscles in my back are really killing me. The feeling is so hard to explain but sharp and unbearable! I hope i will be able to start chemo the week after thanksgiving. Dr. Mahdavi has to ask Dr. Duma if it is ok to start chemo then. It will be 4 weeks since my brain surgery on Tuesday! Time flies by fast. I had to cancel my flights to Washington and England the other day. I was upset but do realize that my family in each place will be there when i am better. I just got to take care of business. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks for your support! Believe...

patience is a virtue

2009-11-19T15:42:00.000-08:00

Saw all the doctors this week. I need to get a bronchoscopy before i start treatment to make sure i don't have an infection and also to biopsy and send for genetic testing. I will find out tomorrow what day next week i will be getting this procedure done. I am starting chemo the week after the holiday. Still don't know if it is inpatient or outpatient. All i do know is that i have 1 new chemo and 1 old chemo cocktail. One of them is for 10 days infusions for over an hour and then i get 2 weeks off. The other chemo is in pill form which i have taken before. Will update you again when i have more information.

I got this tattoo last Saturday in Oakland.

HOME

2009-11-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

I got home from my wonderful vacation on Sunday night. It was such a relaxing peaceful week! This week is back to stressful reality. I have all these doctor appointments and finally going to figure out what to do next. My cough is getting worse and the sharp pain in my lung is hurting more every night. I can not wait to start this treatment so this all goes away! Last night i was at Round Table Pizza, which is my favorite pizza, and had such a wonderful time. Thanks to all that came to support me and hope you enjoyed a great dinner. I will update you when i find out the next treatment. I go to UCLA tomorrow!!! Ahhhhh YEAH! I believe whatever they will give me will kick the cancers butt!! Thanks again for all your love and support! Do not know what i would do without you all! BELIEVE

Eureka!

2009-11-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

I am now in Eureka. So far my little get away has been so wonderful! The Mattair's and i drove up to Santa Rosa on thursday morning. It is so beautiful up there and it is full into the fall season colors! Friday morning we headed up to Eureka. The weather has been beautiful up here all weekend. On saturday we went and saw a Humboldt state university football game because Summers bother Bubba is on the team. It was really hot and alot of fun! Took advantage of going on easy flat hikes this weekend. it feels so good to move around,smell fresh air,look at amazing redwood trees and be relaxed for the week! Have some other relaxing things coming up this week. I will be back at home on sunday. i really dont want to think about coming home yet! haha! it is too amazing here for me! i am doing ok. My hair is growing in fast over my incision already. The scar on my head is healing well. Though i am still coughing and getting sharp lung pain. I am enjoying every minute of my life till reality slaps me again when i get home. more time to relax and no time to waste.. Believe....

Not what you want to hear...

2009-11-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

Went to the doctors today... It ends up that the mass in my lung is my cancer growing. Even though i did the 6 rounds of chemo it helped but it did not kill it.Also the swelling is not from the radiation. So in a couple weeks i will be going to UCLA to see my sarcoma doctor to get his opinion on what other regiment we are going to use to kill this stupid cancer! I knew this whole time that my cancer was still in my lung yet why did it have to grow. There is other chemo out there that is gonna kick its ass! Im gonna kick its ass! I am going to still relax up north till my next appointment nov 18th at UCLA. I need to escape and get fresh air before my next challenge. Also we can not even start any treatment until my brain heals too. So i got perfect timing right now. Even though this all may sound bad, it is not. It is not spreading and it is in the same place but just getting a little bigger. My luck always seems to work out. I BELIEVE! I AM OK. I AM A FIGHTER!!!! Thanks ya'll for your support! i will update as days go by....

Good Day!!

2009-11-03T12:13:00.000-08:00

Today was a good morning! Got up early today to take my PET scan. I was very happy that it was easy for them to inject me! After i was done i realized that my wonderful 2 out of 3 doctors were there doing their procedures. Dr. Duma was there and looked at my incision which he is very proud of. It looks great and i was able to get my staples out!! He is amazing! My next MRI for my brain is not till the second week of December. For the 3rd time we discussed about me taking steroids before flying in a plane. haha! The same questions he has to hear from me...Poor guy! Yet he is so sweet! He blows my mind, brain literally.. Also Dr. Chen my radiation oncologist was there. We were talking about my chest and discussing how i still have chest pain and a cough. Steroids are suppose to help the pain and cough but to me it is still feeling the same. He said it may take 2-3 weeks to get better. I am just happy to know that the lung will heal itself. Tomorrow i will see Dr. Mahdavi to go over the PET scan. Dr. Chen was not able to go over more details with me cause the results could not even be seen yet. We will find out how the cancer is doing also in my lung. I am going to go to UCLA the first week of December to see how they feel about this and what to do next. AHH i finally get to relax!! Anxiety is going away fast! My strength is getting a little better everyday. I have never smiled so much than i have today! I will let you all know what the "man" has to say tomorrow.. I BELIEVE!!!!!!!!

HOME

2009-11-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

I am home. What a week of new experiences. Going through the surgery was not bad once again but the anxiety came on hard. I was in ICU for not even a full day and i could not sleep. Life is so short and precious it made me push harder to heal.There was so much going on around me in this unit and i was so happy to be transferred back onto my favorite 8th floor! I was able to calm down and finally get some healing sleep. I stoped taking diladid, which are strong pain killers, because i can only deal with my own pain. Being on those drugs erase all memory,pain and emotion. i don't like that. It is amazing that all my pressure headaches are gone! No pain or headaches! The only uncomfortable pain is the cuts and staples in my head. My face is really tight and pulled up. The steroids make me feel really sucked in and swollen. I will still be taking them till this Wednesday. Though the area is itchy and healing well. Everyday i am feeling a little better. When i was discharged, Dr. Duma came to tell me that it is NOT CANCER!! I knew it! I believed that it was just another test for me. This week on Wednesday i get the staples removed!! I cant wait! I also have another PET scan on Tuesday to check up on my lung.. Will they ever leave me alone. HAHA! Thank you all for your support! I am sorry if i don't make much sense but trying my hardest. I will update all the time. BELIEVE

Soooooo Strong!

2009-10-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

I saw Renee today and she looks amazing! You would never know that she had a major surgery other than the bandage on her head. She has very little swelling and a little bruising around her eye that has started to develop but she still looks beautiful. She got up to her room today at 10am but had spent the night in ICU where they checked on her every hour. She has had little sleep and really needs her rest. She has been so happy with all of the support she has been given and would love to visit with everyone soon. She asked that she could get some sleep today and if you would like to visit to please call first tomorrow to make sure she doesn't have too many people in her room at a time. She does not have her regular corner room since she needed to be next to the nurses station so it is pretty tight in there. Thank you again for all of the support and please keep on believing!!!!! Audrey

Battle Scar

2009-10-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

BEAUTIFUL GIRL!!

2009-10-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

She is doing great! She said the pressure headaches are gone but she is pretty sore. She has a lot of staples in her battle wound but still manages to rock it! She is not using her cell phone though she appreciates texts, emails and Facebook comments. She will not be ready for visitors for a while but I will also post it when that changes. Thank you again for all your support! *****************B E L I E V E*********************

Out of surgery and looking good...

2009-10-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I just wanted to give you the update on Renee's surgery. She just finished with her surgery and is doing well. Dr. Duma took out some of the mass and burned around the mass in hopes of keeping it from growing. He will be testing it to confirm that it is NOT cancer and we will know in the next couple of days. He said that from what he could see that it looked to be scar tissue. Elda and Jen are getting ready to head up to ICU to be with her and knowing Renee, she will be on the phone letting us all know in person that she is doing great. She is such a strong amazing girl and she inspires so many every time she kicks cancers butt over and over again. Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers. As I get more information I will continue to post.

**Audrey Honeycutt

Sunday Funday

2009-10-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

I've been experiencing a lot of pain with both my lung and my pressure headaches, so when I woke up Sunday morning I called my doctor. He suggested that I go to the ER and get something for the pain. I spent the afternoon in the ER at Hoag and was admitted up to the 8th floor. I am now getting steroids and pain medication (Dilaudid) which is helping a lot. The steroids are working for both the lung and the brain swelling to reduce the pain. The doctors want me to relax and be ready for the big day tomorrow.

I was scheduled for the PET Scan today (Monday), but I don't think that I will be having it because I have now been admitted into the hospital and the machine is not on-site at the hospital.

I'm very proud of myself that I called my doctors and recognized my pain level rather than pushing myself to ignore it. The medications are already helping with both my lung pain and my headaches.

Tomorrow is a big day...I will update my blog and keep everyone posted on my recovery.

Believe...Y.O.L.O

Fun Friday!

2009-10-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

I had a STAT CT chest scan and that was fast.I am special since i am stat..hehe. 25 minutes after i took it i got a call from my doctors office. They explain to me why the ct scan came out not well. It is showing that something is wrong with my lung even though i just had that scan 3 weeks ago!! The left lung tumor is about 1 cm bigger. The past week i have had a weird cough, hard to breathe and also pain exactly where i was getting radiation on that lung. They gave me an order to get a STAT Pet scan and i get that on monday. Then after this i was told to go and see Dr. Peter Chen, my amazing radiation oncologist, to discuss lung issues. When i first started the radiation on my lung my doctor of course explained to me what could happen. Then of course now i am have pneumonitis.. This is what it is;
Treatment-related pneumonitis is a sign of lung injury, when there is inflammation of your lungs. This may be due to chemotherapy, or radiation therapy. It is very similar to pulmonary toxicity. Pneumonitis commonly occurs 2 to 3 months after radiation to the chest area. It may also develop after chemotherapy that caused lung injury, or lung (pulmonary) toxicity.
Good news right! I think no matter what i am ok. My doctor was saying that steroids will help the lung but i told him i will wait till after the surgery cause Dr. Duma, brain doctor, gives me steroids for my brain.It will work for it all! Anyway sorry if this seems over whelming but my day yesterday was crazy! I still feel ok and very strong! Either way i am going to be doing sooo well! The pressure is going to be gone and i will be getting better soon! I believe and know i am going to kick all these issues butt! Thanks for your support!! I will write before the exciting day!! BELIEVE!!!!!!!!

Good day!

2009-10-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today i was in Hoag to do pre admission screenings. The only thing i had to do was a chest xray! I ran into so many doctors and friends there. Everyone knows that i am getting the great brain surgery next Tuesday! I feel happy that the friends know and also i am done with the pre surgery responsibilities. Haha! i get to relax and enjoy these days. I have realized that the last blog that was written is confusing some people. Dr. Duma is taking out the cyst that grew larger. Remember that we found the cyst,fluid and swelling. The cyst was 2.6* 1.7 cm on 9/11 and now 3.9*3.2cm in size. So he will go in my brain and take that cyst out. It pretty much is like dead skin/tumor.He is not taking out any good brain and if he does a little bit! Even though we already see and know that it is not cancer, he will still test the dead cyst. He was telling me how fabulous i will feel once he does this surgery. I can not explain how excited i am to do this!!!!! I am still leaving here a week later after my surgery to get away and relax with special friends!! Thanks everyone for your support! i will write before i go in and i am also hoping to have someone update this blog when i am in the hospital. BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!

MRI Results

2009-10-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

Renee is dictating to me (Sabrina) about today's experience...

I started this morning with getting my blood taken at Dr. Mahdavi's. My blood results were good. So, I headed down to get my brain MRI. Immediately after the MRI I went to Dr. Duma to go over the results from the scan. Dr. Duma's facial expression was pure shock...he realized the changes were significant. Right away he scheduled me for brain surgery, Tuesday, October 27th. Dr. Duma is going to be taking the left side of my brain out - a craniotomy. Dr. Duma will then be testing what he takes out to confirm his suspicions that it is not cancer. I wish I could get the surgery tomorrow to have it over with, but I have a lot of "pre-op" appointments and this week will be busy.

Needless to say, the day has been overwhelming and I quickly ran to Dr. Mahdavi's office to let them know how the MRI went and that I will be having surgery next Tuesday. He was very reassuring and told me that the will be there daily to check on me and make sure that I am recovering well.

I know that a lot of you have been wondering how the day went, but I needed some time to take all of this not-so-good news in and prepare myself for what is to come. I am anxious to get this out of my brain and be able to still go on my trips that I have planned. Thank you for your support.

Believe...Renee

Changes

2009-10-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

I called Dr. Duma office, my awesome brain doctor, yesterday and talked to a nurse. I was going over how things have not changed. The doctor has talked to the eye doctor that i saw last week which is good. Even though i have mentioned that i am getting a brain mri October 26 we have changed it now to next Tuesday the 20th. This needs to be done sooner so we can figure out how the brain is doing. I do have more anxiety like always but i do know that no matter what i BELIEVE i am ok!!! I am feeling ok and it takes time to feel 100%. I have been relaxing alot at home and not going around often so i dont get that flu that kids have. Poor kids.. Hope all is doing well! Thank you all for your support my wonderful friends!! Thank you my angels!BELIEVE! Enjoy life! Y.O.L.O

You only live once...xoxo

HELLO!

2009-10-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to write a HELLO to everyone! I have had a mellow and relaxing week. I am feeling alright yet i still get pounding headaches. i am wondering when the pounding will start going down and not hurt anymore. I am very happy too cause it could have been worse. I have 2 weeks off until my brain mri and my doctor appointments at U.C.L.A. So i am going to take care of my medical issues and mellow my brain..HAHA! I will keep on believing all this will work out. Thanks for all your support! I will update you all on what i am up to and how my pain is... Gone i say!!! BELIEVE!

Fun times..

2009-10-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

So, today I went to Dr. Mahdavi's office to get results from my latest scans. The scans came back good, my tumor has gotten a little bit smaller and the Pet scan showed very little activity. Dr. Mahdavi wants me to get another scan in two months to track the progress, but I will still be going into his office monthly to check my blood work. (My blood work today was good, my white cells and platelets were normal and my red cells-hemoglobin were slightly below normal.) He recommended that I make an appointment with my doctors at UCLA just to keep them in the loop and give them the results of all my tests/scans. After I left Dr. Mahdavi's office I decided to go pick up copies of my previous scans so I would have them when I go to UCLA. Right when I walked into the building, I started having vision problems again. I started seeing weird oil spots in the right side of my field of vision. It really freaked me out. Luckily Dr. Duma, my neurosurgeon, was there and he took me in and examined me right then and there! He did a couple neuro checks with me and looked in my eyes, he shined a bright light in my right eye and I could barely even notice the light. He is fairly sure that this is not a neurological problem- he said I would have seen spots out of both eyes. He referred me to an opthamologist that he highly recommends and the soonest his office could get me in was Wednesday. I left Dr. Duma not feeling very good at all. The vision problem slowly went away but my pressure headache came back, plus my anxiety level was very high. I started having problems finding the words I wanted to say, I couldn't even remember the name of my favorite thai food restaurant! I was really freaking out! My friend Jame' tried to calm me down and try to get me to relax. She took me to get some lunch since I hadn't eaten all day. I really didn't have an appetite, but as soon as I sat down and had a few bites I started feeling much better. I am still feeling the pressure in my head, and I am still experiencing dizziness especially when I first stand up to walk around, but my vision is normal now and I'm talking much better. I'm home and I am just trying to relax right now.

The past few days have been very hard on me and gave me a lot of anxiety, especially building up to to today's doctor appointment and trying to deal with the loss of another friend of mine with cancer. I have a lot of faith, no matter what. I continue to believe that even though I'm going through a lot I am going to be ok! I started doing accupuncture for my pressure headaches and it has been helping a lot. Thank you to everyone for all your continued support, I will definitely keep you updated.

Dictated by Renee, transcribed by Jame'

down time..

2009-09-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

I went into Dr. Mahdavis office today to see him and also take my blood. My blood results were pretty good yet it is still a little low. I will get that checked again next Monday. I went over a couple things with my favorite doctor. I am taking my CT scan and also PET scan tomorrow. I will see him next Monday to go over all the results. I will have some anxiety wondering how this will all turn out. Also i saw Dr. Duma and i made an MRI appointment for my brain October 26th. He did say no matter how i am i will be able to fly. The bad news is that i can not drive until after the results of my brain. Wow! A month without driving myself any where or taking myself to the scans and other doctor appointments drives me crazy! I always did feel great being independent but not anymore.. BOO HOO! I am still getting pressure in my brain but feeling better. I will update you all when i get more information from the doctors and also let you know how i am feeling. Thanks for your support!! BELIEVE!

Relaxing

2009-09-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

I had my white blood cell shots the past 2 days and also my blood taken yesterday. We figured that i did not need to get another shot today cause my white blood count was really high. It will end up going back down but i will check on it again Monday. I also will be seeing Dr. Mahdavi next Monday to go over it all. The past 2 days have been different for me. My whole body is feeling numb and sore. It is really hard to walk up and down the stairs too. I feel that i should do little exercises and stretches to help this problem. I cant not figure it out if it is from the chemo, shots , my brain damage or the muscle atrophy. The pain will go away soon too! The rest of the week i get to relax and work on my strength. My sister and i are going to head to Palm Springs for another relaxing weekend. I will update you all when i talk with my amazing doctor. Believe!!!

I am HOME!!

2009-09-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

On Sunday my white counts were high enough to let me go home and my doctor was happy to discharge me. I was getting 2 shots a day to make my white count go up and it worked! I can sure feel this working by my bones and body are aching.Normally i end up being neutropenic and stuck in the hospital but that did not happen this round!! I am so happy to be home. I cried alot yesterday in the hospital because i just was realizing that i am not going back in again for any treatment. I am done with chemo... wow!! Also i love all the night and day nurses on that floor. They are so amazing, loving, and helpful. I will keep in touch with all of them. As much as i went through the past 6 months i was able to stay so strong and positive because of all the support i had from my doctors, nurses and you all!!

I now have a lot to do the next 3 weeks. This week i have to go into the cancer day hospital to get white blood cell shots for the next 3 days. Then i have to get my blood checked a couple times this week. Next week i will have an appointment to see Dr. Mahdavi to get orders for my scans which are brain mri, ct scan of chest abd and pelvic, pet scan, and muga scan. This is going to be fun to do them all next week!! After that i will finally see him to look over all the results. That will give me anxiety for sure. I also will be seeing Dr. Duma my brain doctor to figure out what is next. Once i see him i will let you all know what we decide. I am still taking Keppra which is anti seizure medication. I have never had one in my life but this is something that he wants me to take. Also when i am done with both doctor appointments and scans i will be going to U.C.L.A to see my two other brain and sarcoma doctors to get their opinion. Ahhhh this will all happen like i said in the next 3 weeks! As the days go by i will update you all with all my good news!!! Thanks again for all your support! I am so happy and impressed that i am staying strong!! Everyday i tear with joy! Can not believe i conquered this again!! Im a warrior!!! BELIEVE xoxo!

Finished

2009-09-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

So...Sunday night was the last drip of chemo. I am all done!!!! So far, counts are doing well and I am still taking steriods for the swelling & fluid in my brain. Now it is Thursday and I have been getting my shots for my white counts since Monday and today I am getting 2 units of blood. I am still a little spacey but feeling better every hour. Equalibrium seems to be getting better though it is still off. My doctor wants me to take a couple of weeks off and not drive. I know I am able to drive but I would rather not take that risk. I am hoping to get out this weekend. I just have to take it day to day to see how my counts are doing. Let's believe they will be going up fast so I can go home and realize I am done with all this treatment! I am so happy! Thanks for all your support.

Round 6

2009-09-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

I went back on Tuesday morning to Hoag for chemo. I started getting pressure headaches again the other day, so they took two more MRIs. Compared to the last ones from last week - it looks like the swelling has decreased a bit and stable. Saw Dr. Duma today and he is going to keep me on heavy steroids. Then once those steriods are done, we'll check to see if it is helping the swelling decrease. We are thinking not to do a crani to take the dead cancer mass out. The only surgery we may do is to drain the fluid from the brain, if necessary. That will be known in the next month because I need to build a strong immune system to do this. So today, I am on bag 5 of 5 of my last round of chemo!!! Feeling out of it and can't taste a thing. This is almost over! This is so exciting! Taking it hour to hour right now. Should be here for another week or so. I will try to update as the time goes by.....Believe.

Tomorrow

2009-09-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the starting on the last chemo! Round 6! Wow can not believe i have already have taken all these drugs. I am excited to get this over and move on. Even though we are going to be watching the brain i am not worried about any issues that i may come up on. I will kick all the cancers butt and get back into normal life. For some reason i really would rather be working again soon. Though everyday i have been thinking about how many great travels and adventures i should go on. Life is too short and beautiful and i feel that i need to explore. Let my wings fly... I will try to have others update this as im inpatient. Please keep on praying and giving me positive energy. It all helps! Thanks again for your support!! Believe!!!!

relaxing

2009-09-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

So i am feeling well and dealing with these steroid effects.It seems to be working yet the feeling of being swollen, discombobulated and bright red is not too fun. i am in la quinta taking some relaxing energy time. it is beautiful here and i enjoy coming here as much as i can. i am mentally getting ready to finish round 6 of chemo on Tuesday. as soon as i get there i will be watched over to make sure the brain is functioning right. sorry if i have not called alot of people back and have not responded either i just have been over whelmed. i am staying positive and believe i am gonna kick all this cancers butt and experiences i go through. thanks for all your support

i am home

2009-09-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

They let me out and i am home now. I talked to Dr. Duma and he is putting me on steroids to reduce the swelling and fluid. They are letting me come back next Tuesday for the last round of chemo for my lung. When i am done with this I will take a mri of my brain to see if the steroids worked. Dr. Duma really thinks that the mass is not cancer!! We dont know for sure or what is going to help but i believe i will be great! If it does not work we will drain the fluid out of my brain then. I have gone through alot but feeling ready to kick this cancers butt , drain the fluid and shrink the swelling! Thanks all for your support! I will update you all more very soon! Believe!

Major update!!

2009-09-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was having a great day until I kept on getting pressure headaches. I called Doctor Mahdavi and he told me to head to the Emergency Room. Once I got there I had an MRI on my brain. The MRI showed that the mass has grown and there is swelling. We don't know if the mass is cancer for sure or not. We do see the swelling from the brain is causing the brain to shift over towards the right side. So now I have been admitted back in the hospital. I am taking aggressive steroids because it helps the swelling in the brain go down. Also I am now taking my seizure meds again to prevent them from happening. I have never had one before but that's ok to take those meds. Now I am waiting for my brain doctor Dr. Duma to figure out what to do next. We are now going to ignore the lung treatment because the brain is more important!! As soon as I find out what Dr. Duma wants to do, I will let you all know. Believe...

Good doctor visit

2009-09-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

So yesterday i went see Dr. Mahdavi. I had to get my blood taken to check all my counts also my magnesium and potassium. My white and red cells was looking good yet platelets are still a little low. Dr. said that i can just enjoy my week and check into Hoag next Tuesday. We were also talking about what we are going to do after round 6 the last chemo treatment!! He was saying that i will be getting a Ct scan and also a PET scan to see how it is looking. Yet from there if everything is looking good and stable he is going to put me on observation!! That is amazing!! No more chemo.. WOW! I believe i will be fine and just get checked after to make sure im clear... That was a good visit. So all week and i am keeping myself buy and relaxed. My hair is falling out right now bad. I woke up and on my pillow and face was my beautiful hair haha. So sad but i am ready to be a shiny and bald woman again. I will update you all as my relaxing week goes by. I am so happy and honored to who has been offering benefits and help for me. My words can not explain all my great feelings about that. I appreciate you all for your support!! Check out on my current events page in the next couple days to see whats new. Thanks again for your love and support! Believe

Thank you!

2009-08-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for going to Roman Cucina this month! Thank you all for your support! Thanks to Roman Cucina for putting this benefit together to help me out! I really appreciate all of this very much! I will be eating there often as usual! Hope you all will go back and enjoy some great food and service! Believe

I am back Home!!

2009-08-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

So sorry i have not been able to update everyone on my 5th round of chemotherapy. I have no access to the Internet there at Hoag. I will figure out how to update in the hospital once again during the 6th round. On Sunday I started my chemo right away and finished Friday night of round 5. During this week i was feeling ok and did not vomit at all. I was eating well but i did have major stomach and digestive issues. It is always hard to digest the food i eat while going through the treatment. I have figured out a couple of things to help like drink ginger root tea, drink apple juice ,walk and eat tons of fruit to help my stomach. That weekend when i finished, my body was in tons of pain because im off the steroids and chemo. My bones , muscles and my skin felt like they were on fire and stiff. Saturday I started to get 2 shots a day to help my white blood count go up. This makes my pelvic throbe so bad because it was working so hard to make it happen. I had to take potassium pills too since it was low and i hate swallowing them cause they are so huge!! I had to take them for 4 days or so. Around Tuesday my counts dropped really low even with the 2 shots a day! My hemoglobin went down really low also so i had to get 2 units of blood. For some reason i started breaking out in bumps on my face and back. We were thinking it was just from all the chemicals i have been on. I also starting getting some pressure headaches. I tried to take some Motrin to help but it really did not do anything for me. The next day after all this i still felt like crap. I also had a stuffed nose,headache and a red sore throat. That day i drank plenty of fluids and relaxed which ended up helping me out alot. It is amazing how i can feel so crappy then the next couple hours i am feeling well. That is why when i go through these crappy times i relax and meditate the pain away. I let it go and know that everything will be ok. It takes patience, positive thoughts and i believe that in no time i will be back to normal! So i walked plenty of hot laps and also watch movies. Since that day i was feeling much better even though i was neutropenic for the next 3 days. As soon as all my counts were back to normal i was discharged which was this morning. I am out and so happy to breathe fresh air! This weekend i have to go to the cancer day hospital to get my shot for my white blood cells and also hydration. Then on Monday i go to Mahdavis office to get my blood taken to see if I'm doing well. Then from there i will be able to enjoy some time off till Sept 8 for round 6! I will update more as the week goes by. Sorry if i do not make sense. My brain is a little tired..hehe. Thanks everyone for you support and patience!! Believe!!!!

Going in tomorrow

2009-08-15T09:55:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone that has written me positive thoughts and energy! I am packing and getting myself ready for tomorrow today. Just trying to relax and enjoy the day. Staying positive and strong.Like i have mentioned i will try to update you all on how i am doing once i am in Hoag doing my chemotherapy. Thanks again! BELIEVE

news

2009-08-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was not a fun filled day! I had my first appointment with Dr. Mahdavi to go over scans and chemo. From the scan i took on monday it showed that the mass has increased in size! What in the world happened!! i just did 6 weeks of radiation and it grew.. I was shocked. So he wanted a PET scan to see if the larger mass was just the cancer or it could just be swollen from the radiaiton. I hope that it is just swollen from being zapped! They made a stat PET scan and was scheduled after the appointments. Then we talked about admitting me in this Sunday for chemo. So happy to start round 5 of chemo! One thing i am worried about is that my lung is burned so how does it heal when i have no immune system. The doctor said i will be ok and that i will be taken care of in the hospital. Hmmmm that did not make me feel that safe. As always Dr. Mahdavi makes me feel that no matter what happens he will help me kick my cancers ass! i love him! I had my blood taken and everything is ok other than my platelets are low. After that i went down and saw Dr. Chen, my radiation oncologist. He saw the crappy results from ct scan. He wants to look at all other scans and the PET scan to see what is going on. He feels that the radiation is working and it is just swollen. The radiation still works for about a month after the last day of treatment. Soon i will find out what they both believe what is going on. I can not explain how stressed out i was! Then after the PET scan i was able to look at the picture Where the lung is you can see the tumor but it is very light yellow. This means it is not aggressive cancer!! YEAH I BELIEVE!!!!! I will update when i find out all results from the doctors. I will be at Hoag again for a couple of weeks and will try to update my status. Thanks for all your thoughts,prayers and support!!! BELIEVE

CT Scan..done

2009-08-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

I had a great fun filled weekend. I started doing acupuncture with Alan again which helps with everything!! Also still going to see Dr. J my favorite chiropractor for adjustments still. Don't know what i would do without either of their help. The days go by too fast! I had my CT scan done today. It is always great to see all my former co workers there. It makes me fight harder so i can get better and start to work again! I'm happy the scan is don't but now i get to wait another 3 more days to find out the results. I did see the pictures of the scan. I was able to check it out on the computer at radiology. It honestly looked like the same size.... I will see with the doctors will say on Thursday. I am hoping that the 6 weeks of radiation did something! I am getting anxiety wondering what the man will be planning next. I am feeling well other than i have a sore throat and scratchy voice. Ill get better before i start chemo next week. Tomorrow i am going to Roman Cucina again. Thanks to all that have been eating there.. Its sooo yummy! Believe

Theres a pic of me and Dr. J

Food

2009-08-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone that came to Roman Cucina on Tuesday. I was there in Costa Mesa and i seriously can not eat enough there! I am gonna go there again next Tuesday since that will be the only other one i can attend. I will be back into Hoag for more chemo either on the 16th or the 17th. I am relaxing and having a good time before my last 2 chemos. i am feeling great, my skin is pealing and looking wonderful. I am looking forward to my Ct scan next Monday. I will update after i see the doctors next Thursday about the results. Thanks again! hope to see you guys at Roman Cucina next week too!!

Done with radiation!!

2009-08-03T15:23:00.001-07:00

Last day of radiation was today!! I can not believe how fast 6 weeks of radiation went! I feel so lucky how smooth this went for me. My skin has been the only issue and im hoping the raw red skin heals soon.I am thinking back to when i started my 6 weeks and how much anxiety i had. I was thinking the worse of what could happen. Why do i still do that.. I do that to myself every time i go through any treatments or scans. It comes and goes but i beat it every time! It is a mind game. I stay positive and believe! That is what helps me flight to live. Today i went to get my blood taken and it is still looking good. I am ready to start my next 2 rounds of chemo!! Next Monday i have a ct scan to see if the radiation helped killing my stupid cancer!! Excited to hear the great news. Thank you for all you support!

Starting this week every Tuesday of august go to Roman Cucina to eat and have some drinks.Make sure to bring a flyer with you.

Believe!!

Last appointment with Dr. Chen

2009-07-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

Seeing Dr. Chen, my radiation oncologist, today was wonderful. I normally see him every Wednesday to talk about my progress and if i have any complications. Out of all the 6 weeks i have only had a little bit of a problems with swallowing and my red skin. Today was 28 out of 31, 3 times left!!I feel very lucky to not have too much to complain about. We did talk about my raw and red skin today.I think it looks pretty gross but i am taking care of it really well. He mentioned me not laying out in the sun for at least a year on my chest!! Oh my goodness!! A year!! How can i not lay out in the sun for another year and miss out on next summer... "I wear sun screen ya know" this is what i told him. He did say be careful and to realize how sensitive my chest and upper back will be. I will take it as it comes and need to stay positive and not worry about laying out. What i need to concentrate on is kicking this stupid cancers butt!! I believe it is happening! Thanks all for your support!
Hope you all enjoy Roman Cucina starting next week. Remember every Tuesday of August at any of their restaurants. Bring the flyer in with you.... Romancucina.com

25!

2009-07-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

I have done 25 out of 31 radiations already! Time is going by fast. I am feeling well and keeping myself busy. Coming up in August there will be a Benefit at Roman Cucina's each Tuesday of the month. Soon there will be a flyer that you must print out and bring it in with you. Then a percentage will go to me. Thanks to Ryan for helping me out!! So please go to drink and eat amazing food!! Check out their website http://www.romancucina.com/ to see where all the locations are at. Thanks for all your support! Enjoy your weekend!

Future plans

2009-07-22T08:37:00.001-07:00

Today is already in the middle of the week and i just finished 23 of 31!! Yeah!!! So far i am feeling really well still. Last weekend i went to Palm Desert and had a relaxing time. It was 118 and i enjoyed that heat. I swam and layed out in the sun but only my legs where in the sun and i did not come home with a sun burn on them either. My chest looks like i baked in the sun for days because of the radiation. I had to go to Dr. Mahdavi yesterday for blood and update. We talked about what is going to happen next. When i am done i am due for a CT scan to see how the mass looks. I have not had a scan in over a month and a half!! So excited to see how small it is or if it is even there!! I made an appointment on the 10th of august for my scan and then i see Dr. Mahdavi on the 13th. Then after that on the 17th we are planning on admitting me back into Hoag for chemotherapy. 2 more rounds is what i have left!! I am so happy that this is going smooth and quick. We did talk about me doing more treatment if the mass is not responding. Haha i know i am fine! The doctors always have to say what could happen and i DO NOT BELIEVE i will have any other problems!! I do BELIEVE i am kicking this stupid cancers butt!! Thanks all for supporting me! I am really anxious to finish this and move on....

I love my Sierra she is a funny little 5 year old!!

Another week...

2009-07-16T08:59:00.001-07:00

Today i am on 19 of 31!! Cant believe how fast this is all going. Everything seems to be ok still. I am getting a lot more red on my chest and back. It looks like a bad sunburn. The skin is starting to peal a bit. Though with all the Aloe and Aquaphor is helping out alot to keep it moisturized. It has been so beautiful and sunny lately here. I would love to just lay in the sun and go swimming yet i can not. There will be sun when i am done. My swallowing has gotten much better. I always believed that nothing can stop me from eating.. Haha. For the first time on Tuesday i was able to eat may favorite meal, Sushi!!!!! I enjoyed that soo much! I have been waiting since February to eat raw fish again. Poor Dr. Mahdavi has been listening to me bitch about not eating it and constantly asking him when can i eat sushi..So my blood counts are looking great and i am somewhat back to being normal healthy Renee. Thanks all for believing with me!!

Wednesday

2009-07-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

Every Wednesday i will be seeing Dr. Chen my radiation oncologist. Today was a good visit. They did take a scan last Friday and everything seems to be ok. It is different than any other ct scans so it is hard to tell if it is shrinking or not. I believe that the stupid cancer is gone and they are radiating me for fun... Haha! My chest is doing ok. i am obsessed with aloe,aquaphor and hydrocortisone cream to help the redness and the burning. Then with the swallowing and digesting my food has been interesting. Now every time i eat i have the hick ups and i burp alot. Certain spices and hot food really bother my esophagus. Though with all this little complications i am still able to eat as much as i normally do. One side effect that is new for me is that i get nausea and It does come and go. Over all i am doing great and taking it like a champ! Thanks for all your support and reading about my fun adventure!!

Week 3

2009-07-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hello to y'all! Hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th!! I had a wonderful day and made sure to keep out of the direct sun light. It was great to take an umbrella to the parade with me.. haha! Then with all the other BBQ's i was so full yet kept on eating. Im still having a little bit of esophagitis problems but not bad enough to stop me from eating. So this is week 3 of 6!! I saw my nurse today and the only problem i am having is the redness in my chest. It will keep on getting more red and probably start to peal and bubble up...Yuck. I get to see the radiation doctor on Wednesday to see how it is all going. I will let you all know once i talk to him. Hope you all are loving the sunshine!!!

10 out of 31!!

2009-07-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

Done with week 2 of radiation and have 4 more to go. I am happy i get a 3 day weekend. The cancer center is closed tomorrow for the 4th of July! Happy about that yet i kind of want to do radiation as much as i can!! Tomorrow will be the only day that i will be missing my radiation. So far this week i am felling ok still. Getting tired but in the afternoon i get energy. I am trying to keep myself from doing too much. Though i am always all over the place! Relaxing is the best for me right now. I would love to lay in the sun but my skin is already getting red and peeling from the zapping. I will be enjoying my weekend and i am going to try to make it down to the Huntington parade. Hope everyone has a great weekend and be safe on the 4th! Believe....

a quick note..

2009-06-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah 1 week down of radiation!! Just 5 more to go!! So far i am feeling good. Just taking it day to day. On Wednesday i had a brain Mri and update with Dr. Duma. As we looked at the images we noticed a change. There is either swelling in my brain or scare tissue from my radiation i had almost 4 years ago. He is not worried about it at all. I on the other hand is wondering how this is popping up now. He said it is normal to get this after a year of brain radiation and gamma knife. Yet it has been almost 4 years for me so he thinks i am lucky. Also he feels that since i started chemo and now radiation for my lung it may have caused this to happen since my system is not normal to heal. We are gonna check up on this brain in 3 months. Though if i start getting slurred speech and other symptoms then ill get one earlier. That is fine with me. I am very happy that there is not another tumor in my brain!!! So all my worries are gone. I believe i am and always will be fine! Stupid silly cancer trying to mess with me haha. I dont think so!! Thanks all for everything! ill update you soon.

It is moday..

2009-06-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

Today was 2 out of 31 times of radiation. So far it is going well. I had more anxiety last week then i do now. I just have to take it day to day. Today i did get to see my nurse. We went over alot today and i am not looking forward to all of the side effects, if it happens that is. They are radiating my whole upper left chest, from the bottom of my left breast to the bottom of the neck and it is from the left side to the middle where the esophagus is. That is alot so there are many different things that could happen. First is that i may have problems swallowing since my esophagus is getting zapped,fatigue for sure possibly after 2 weeks, shortness of breath, and sun burned chest. Hmmmm i dont know if all this will happen to me but they had to discuss it with me. Then i know i cant lay out in the sun..Boo hoo to that. Though i know there are many other sunny days when this is over. i just need to have patience and just concentrate of killing this stupid cancer! I will let you all know how every goes almost daily. Thanks for all your support!! Believe

pic if from anguilla 2006...

Just a thought

2009-06-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

So today is my first radiation treatment. I went in yesterday to get more pictures and for some reason had a bad time. Not only did i find out the only time slot they had open was 730p.m and then they said i cant lay out! I was upset and cried.. I am thinking that i had more than that to cry about and something triggered me to do so. Once again i reminded myself there is plenty of sunshine through out the year that i can soak myself with and also they may adjust my time slot once something opens up. Haha i was an emotional wreck. I learned that it is ok just to do cry and be upset here and there. Though this time around has been too often. Maybe emotionally i have had enough but still able to kick this cancers butt! This menopausal thing i am going through too is not helping either with the moods. Haha now i know how my mom feels.. I'm going in today knowing this is going to go by fast and that is killing this cancer! Just another new experience and excitement! Thanks all for supporting me!!! Believe!!!!!!!!!

Plans are set..

2009-06-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

Went to see my radiation doctor, Dr. Chen, today to start the radiation process. We discussed that i will be doing 31 sessions of radiation. Which ends up to be 6 weeks and 1 day since i will be going in Monday through Friday. Today i was scanned,marked up and i go back in on Thursday to get my tattoos. Then on Friday i start number 1 out of 31! So happy to get this started! Something new and exciting right. I am a little anxious to see how if any side effects will effect my daily life. I know i should live day to day but it is always in the back of my mind. I did mention this to my doctor and with laughter he said you have had your brain and pelvic area radiated and you are anxious about this. Yeah i felt stupid haha! After this appointment i went and saw Dr. Mahdavi to get some blood work and discuss what to do during radiation. My counts were good so i do not have to get any more shots thank goodness! During radiation i need to get my blood taken once a week and see the doctor once a month. Not too bad i say!All of this is a full time job to me. I will update more as the radiation starts to let you all know how i am feeling and my thoughts of course. Thanks again for your support! Believe!

Hives..

2009-06-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

At the hospital i did the same routine. I finish my chemo and then the blood levels drop and i get my shots and blood transfusions. As weak as i was, i always get excited to know i am receiving blood. It makes me feel like a new person in hours. Amazing i tell ya! For the first time ever i broke out into hives while receiving my first unit out of 2 units of blood. It scared me at first but after i was given benedryl in the vein not only did the hives go away, it knocked me straight to sleep. Then as i woke up i could already feel some energy once again. My white blood count kept on dropping lower and lower each day even with the shots that i have received. I think my body is just overwhelmed with being poisoned so much. Though today which is Friday i was excited to see my counts went up and tiny bit. I convinced Dr. Mahdavi, my fabulous doctor, to send me home and promised that i would be a good girl this weekend by staying in. I do have to go to the day hospital on Saturday and Sunday to get shots for my white blood cells. This is my chance to get outside around people since it is dangerous to be out with low counts but i am putting myself on house arrest till i get checked on Monday. Also on Monday i have an apportionment with radiation to start things up. I see the doctor and also they start the markings for the radiation. I will find out too when i start the actual radiation and how long it will be for. I am very happy and excited how fast all this is going. One thing after the other. I am staying strong and positive! Just kicking this stupid cancer butt! also thank you all again for your support! Also a big Thanks to the Warfest benefit for donating money to me by sponsors; Blue Ice Vodka, One Hope Wine and Fccancerfoundation.com !!! You guys are all amazing! Everyone should check out that site!!! Believe!

Round 4 Is Done!

2009-06-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

I finished my last bag of chemo for round four of what I think will be a total of six rounds of chemo. I'm feeling pretty good! I have been having some tummy aches but I am hanging in there. My hair is still growing like crazy but I am guessing I will have it for a week or two before it all falls out again. My friends already have pland to shave designs into my hair :)! I am hoping to get out of the hospital by Tuesday and follow up with outpatient visits. In three weeks, I will start radiation and that will last for six weeks. After that we will see whats up. Thanks for all the support!

Check out FCCancerfoundation.com!!

The Plan

2009-05-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

The plan is set now! I feel so much better and ready to get this over with to kill this stupid cancer! All doctors have agreed on this; 6 rounds of chemo and 4-6 weeks of radiation on its own. Though they want to split it up by 4 rounds of chemo then the 4-6 weeks of radiation then the last 2 rounds of chemo. Sounds good to me. I go back in to Hoag this Monday for round 4 of chemo already!! That means once i am done with this i get to start radiation. I am some what close to being more than half way there! I will update you with all my fun days ahead with chemo! Thanks for all your support! Believe!!!